Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
