Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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