He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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