he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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