Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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