Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
