You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize