Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
