dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
if only i could text you this smell
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
