he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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