so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
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I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
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Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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