new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
