this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
