If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
