Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
