If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
