He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize