Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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