Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
This is my gift to your gina
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
