so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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