Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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