The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
