Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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