My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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