News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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