I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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