Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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