You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
