Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
