Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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