I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
