Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
