just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize