Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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