This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
