Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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