My Higher Power is John Stamos
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize