I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
