Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
