Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
