I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
