it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
