is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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