Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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