How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize