I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
