so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
