You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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