Non-Jews are for practice
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
