...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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