Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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