Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
