yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
