no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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