There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
