Sry I called you an 8
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
