Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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